I initially tried to retire in 2017. It was a misery. I had not planned well and, as life will do, unexpected emotional and difficult circumstances cropped up immediately. Even without retirement, those things were extremely difficult. But, along with not knowing what to do with myself, I went into a really deep depression. I’m still sorting things out, but have seen glimpses of the light and I am hopeful that this next time around, I’m going to be better prepared. Now that I understand a bit more what “retirement” needs to be for me, I’m making plans to keep my life as enriched with what I love to do as possible. That includes a lot of different artistic and crafting endeavors. And also some personal improvement steps. I have a lot of things that I’ve put off around the computer and home, and I’m hoping to get a grip on those while my brain still functions well enough to sort them out. And I plan to have fun, be fun, and laugh. A lot.
This past week was Thanksgiving. I’m grateful for many things. I’ve got a few wounds that I have to lick from time-to-time. But overall, my life is one of bountiful blessings. And not the kind where you tell yourself, “Well, thank God I wasn’t hit by that tragedy.” or “At least I’ve got my health.” I mean the real thing, the deep down, sweet blessings of loving and being loved. Of friendships and possible friendships. Of a loving God who I have yet to truly understand but who keeps hold of me through all my weaknesses and stupidity and self-centered sin. Of creativity and imagination. All things are fleeting. But these soul-deep blessings are the real food, the real joy, mystery, rest and hope that makes everything worthwhile.
Happy Thanksgiving. If it was not what you hoped it would be, I pray that you will find a way to get through and, in time, make your own day of Thanksgiving.